The Christmas holidays have always had a darker side and what better way to celebrate that than with a seasonal horror movie? Since I know you secretly love a listicle (after all they do bring form and shape to this chaotic world) here’s my top ten Christmas horror films in no particular order:
1. Black Christmas (1974) – Bob Clark’s Canadian horror is an absolute classic and arguably the first real slasher film. The plot follows an all too familiar format – a group of sorority sisters are terrorized in their home at Christmas time by an unknown killer – but it really does stand out from the slasher crowd. It’s got some pretty serious feminist credentials, has complex female characters and crucially it is genuinely frightening. I actually find the obscene phone calls and the police’s initial reluctance to investigate way more upsetting than some of the kill scenes. Also, a big shout out to the late Margot Kidder who delivers a brilliant performance as the caustic lush Barb.
2. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) – A darkly funny Finnish film about the unearthing of the ‘real’ Santa Claus – the Joulupukki. The movie has simple but very sinister creature design and even manages some great child acting moments. There’s also a bit of scathing commentary on modern economics and how countries seek to package their heritage and culture for foreign mass consumption. But it’s also just quite a moving tale about a boy coming to terms with the loss of his mother and the journey into adulthood. If you’re looking for an alternative kids’ Christmas film, it’s definitely worth seeking out.
3. Batman Returns (1992) – Tim Burton’s Christmas-set, campy delight never fails to entertain and it truly embodies the Gothic spirit of Yuletide. There’s much to love – all the leads have eaten a massive ham sandwich, there’s some biting political satire, Christopher Walken’s hair. But best of all is Michelle Pfeiffer’s loveably deranged Catwoman, such a great performance it’s quite the tragedy she never got to do her own spin-off film (also odd to think that Annette Bening was originally cast in the role). Plus it has all your favourite Christmas movie tropes – parental neglect, loneliness and the evils of capitalism.
4. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) – This is a brilliantly ridiculous, but sad slasher about a man traumatised as a child by a homicidal Santa Claus which leads to some very unseasonal behaviour. In Freudian terms there’s a bag full of nightmarish primal scenes and the whole film feels like a massive glowing neon sign for the importance of getting a decent therapist. Lilyan Chauvin is fab as the imperious Mother Superior who runs the orphanage our protagonist Billy grows up in and it’s quite the reminder that the concept of child protection in the 1980s was just a massive face palm.
5. Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – As I am the dark overlord of decision-making on this blog I’m claiming Eyes Wide Shut as a Christmas set existential horror film. The plot is basically Tom Cruise frantically running about New York on a Xmas evening after traumatically discovering that women have interiority and autonomous sexual desire. It has all my favourite Kubrickian beats – uncanny characters, a detached coldness and psychosexual interpretation for days. Also, the whole rich people in a weird sex cult conspiracy feels somewhat prescient in a post-Epstein world. Kubrick truly was ahead of his time.
6. Gremlins (1984) – Unsurprisingly one of my childhood favourites I’m always amazed by how nasty Joe Dante’s hilarious horror comedy actually is, whether it’s the whole gremlin in a blender thing or Kate’s disturbing Christmas Eve monologue. It’s almost like a satirical ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ remake, but with the malevolent creatures standing in for the ravages of late stage capitalism. It still packs a spiky punch although based on a recent rewatch there is some jarring Chinese cultural stereotyping going on, even if it ultimately appears to be critiquing Western society.
7. Krampus (2015) – An enjoyable comedy horror bringing Austro-Bavarian Yuletide folklore to an English-speaking audience. An American lad inadvertently summons the wrath of the Krampus after losing his festive cheer and mayhem descends upon his home. Directed by Michael Dougherty of Trick ‘r Treat (2007) fame (I guess he has a thing for the darker side of holidays). There’s some pretty good special effects and creepy creature design, and some not so subtle political commentary about politically divided families. Part of me wishes it was R-rated so we could have had a bit more seasonal nastiness, but hey I guess the kids need their dark Christmas movies too. Also, it’s got Toni-motherfucking-Colette in it.
8. Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) – What’s that you say? It’s about time someone made a zombie comedy Christmas musical? Well have I got a surprise for you! A zombie outbreak occurs in the UK just as our characters are getting ready for their high school Christmas show and chaos comedically ensues. There’s teen angst, cheesy song and dance numbers, social commentary on modern loneliness and perhaps even Brexit Britain? Paul Kaye does a great job of playing an unhinged deputy headteacher, representing the ever-present British bête noire of the health and safety bureaucrat. The whole zombie apocalypse also kind of feels like an elaborate metaphor for just having a terrible Christmas when you fight with yer da cause you’re desperate to join your mates on a gap year to Australia.
9. The Devil of Christmas (2016) – Ok technically not a film, but again I construct reality on this blog and as it’s such a slapper it’s going on the list. Inside No.9’s Christmas special is a fitting tribute to the British tradition of horror stories on Xmas Eve and it lovingly recreates the dodgy sets and acting of 1970s British television. The plot is quite simple, the Krampus visits an unsuspecting British family holidaying in the Austrian Alps. The mock DVD commentary is hilariously meta and the episode’s denouement is truly dark stuff. Perhaps there’s also some timely allusions to the power of the director and how they treated their actors in the 70s.
10. Christmas Evil (1980) – Arguably the original killer Santa movie, it’s like the less sexy but just as melancholy version of Silent Night, Deadly Night. You can definitely play Christmas horror trope bingo too – there’s traumatising childhood memories, negligent and selfish parents, and, everyone’s favourite, a critique of capitalism and corporate culture. Brandon Maggart (randomly the father of singer Fiona Apple) delivers an incredibly disturbing but powerful performance as Harry, a man who has fetishized Christmas so much he transforms into a moralistic, murderous Santa Claus. According to John Waters it is ‘the greatest Christmas movie ever made’ and if that doesn’t recommend the film to you, I don’t know what else to do with you.
So what’s your favourite Christmas horror film? Did I miss something really great? Let me know in the comments below… and Happy Krampusnacht!
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